A New Way of Being for High Performing Leaders
My first week as Chief Revenue Officer at Fast Company included representing the brand at ‘The Magazine of the Year’ awards, standing at the podium before 500 industry peers—including a former boss who had fired me.
The voices in my head warned that these ‘not-so-friendly’ peers would judge my ability to lead this prestigious business innovation media brand.
...The brand is cool. I am not cool...
“And the award goes to…”
I walked carefully to the stage, praying not to trip. Climbed the riser, shook the presenter’s hand, took the award, and approached the microphone.
Looking out at the crowd, my eyes locked on my former boss sitting at Table #1 directly before me. In a twist of irony, I had helped recruit this very person to my previous company—and four weeks after her first day, she fired me.
Now, she sat before me as the new CRO of Wired magazine, also nominated for the award.
My inner critic screamed that I wasn't good enough and should not be there.
I was wholly focused inward—on my concerns, insecurities, and imposter syndrome—rather than outward on celebrating my amazing new team and Fast Company’s well-deserved recognition. The flashlight was pointed directly at me when it should have been illuminating others.
After years of deep personal development work and becoming a coach, I know that …
My thoughts were creating my experience, not the external circumstances.
As a result, I missed an important moment for myself and my future.
An important moment to celebrate others and to set the tone for my new role.
-This is what happens when you are not present.
-This is what happens when you don’t reflect.
-This is what happens when you are not intentional.
Pausing to Create Possibility
When our bug brains race with thoughts, we operate on autopilot, reacting from old patterns rather than responding with purpose.
The simple act of slowing down—of creating space between stimulus and response—opens doors to new possibilities.
As Sahil Bloom says:
“The greatest discoveries in life come not from finding the right answers but from asking the right questions.”
The questions we ask ourselves shapes our reality.
When faced with challenges, most of us instinctively ask disempowering questions:
“Why does this always happen to me?” or “What if I fail?”
These questions narrow our vision and reinforce limitations. Instead, ask:
“What opportunity exists in this situation?” or “How might I serve at the highest level right now?”
Break the Momentum of Thought
Our minds produce thousands of thoughts daily, many recycled from yesterday’s worries or tomorrow’s anxieties.
Being present means recognizing these thought patterns without being controlled by them.
That night at Cipriani, I could have asked myself: “What does this moment need from me?” rather than “Why am I not enough?”
This simple shift would have transformed my experience from constriction to expansion.
The quality of our questions determines the quality of our lives.
When we pause to question our thoughts rather than accept them as truth, we reclaim our power to create intentionally.
Two Reflection Practices
To cultivate awareness consistently, I’ve adopted two daily practices that have impacted how I show up:
The Daily Three Questions
Each morning, I reflect on the previous day in my journal:
What worked today?
What didn’t work?
What will I do differently tomorrow?
By acknowledging what’s working, I reinforce success patterns.
By examining what isn’t serving me, I course-correct quickly.
By intentionally looking for improvement, I grow.
The Power of Nine by Lori Harder
Each morning, write:
Three things I’m grateful for
Three things I’m excited about
Three things I’m manifesting
From Reaction to Creation
When we slow down enough to question our thoughts, we move from being victims of circumstance to architects of experience.
The leader who operates from reactive thinking will always be limited by what seems possible.
The leader who questions thoughtfully will discover opportunities invisible to others.
I've learned to pause, breathe, and ask better questions before speaking or acting.
By slowing down, I accomplish more and because of it, I experience greater fulfillment.
As part of a team offsite, we created magazine covers for everyone on the team.
Working with Me
I know from working with leaders like you that the bigger the vision, the greater the internal and external challenges.
Let me help you navigate those challenges by mastering the art of powerful questions that shift your focus from limitation to possibility.
Reach out today for coaching that will transform how you show up as a leader, creating the clarity and presence needed to manifest your boldest vision.
