Competency, Confidence, and Belief for CEOs and High Performers
Competent people routinely doubt themselves and their abilities.
It has held them back.
It’s had them leave money on the table.
Opportunities have been missed.
Potential unrealized.
This is why I do what I do now.
One piercing memory of doubt was when my boss of many years at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia left to go work for the competition. I was her right arm and second in command. When she resigned, I didn’t ask for the job. With her position now open, I didn’t go for it as I was full of self-doubt and questioned my abilities.
I’m now surrounded by high-achieving professionals from my networks, masterminds to my clients, and group coaching programs—all high-achieving professionals who do amazing things.
The most common theme among these accomplished, successful, interesting, and powerful people:
A struggle with confidence.
Not always, but a lot of the time.
Not in all areas, but those most important to us.
A friend of mine recently shared this LinkedIn post about the Dunning-Kruger effect, a psychological paradox we often face: less competent people see themselves as competent professionals, while more competent people tend to doubt themselves and doubt their abilities.
The lower the skill level, the higher the self-confidence.
Let’s not focus on those who are overly confident. That’s them.
The higher the competency, the higher the likelihood of self-doubt.
Smart, capable people underestimate their abilities. YOU?
And research shows that it affects women more than men.
What would be different if you knew your doubt was a sign of your capabilities, smarts, and competency?
What if you could use your doubt as a reminder that you are on the right track?
Confidence is a feeling.
Confidence is not a fact.
Confidence is not a result.
Confidence is not evidence of competency.
Confidence does not come from working harder.
(I wish I had known this in my 20s and 30s).
You create a feeling of confidence using evidence from your capabilities, smarts, and experience.
Doubt, like confidence, is an energy inside of us that we can use for good.
But, when you are in the hustle that comes from doubting your abilities, your brain tells you there's no time and it won’t work. That’s your mind lying to you.
When in doubt, invest in building your confidence by answering this series of questions.
When have you felt most confident? List all of the times.
Evidence you can feel confident.
What were you doing?
Evidence.
Who in your life would tell you that you are capable and smart?
What would they say about you?
Evidence.
When can you count on your confidence?
Evidence.
What capabilities do you have? Dare you say smarts?
Evidence.
What would be different if you leveraged what you are good at when lacking confidence?
Evidence.
What did you do when you were hit with a confidence power outage?
How did you overcome it?
Evidence.
With this evidence of your capabilities and smarts, what will you take with you to help you move forward?
One of my most-read posts is about the importance of competence over confidence. Today is the four-year anniversary of my diagnosis of AML Leukemia, which makes this post even more precious. Thank you, Dr. Park.
Today, I’m borrowing belief.
I’m borrowing belief from Dr. Park (with all of his competence) in his confidence in my beating cancer.
I also borrow belief when I’m hit with a confidence power outage.
I borrow that belief from what I’ve already accomplished and overcome.
I borrow belief from others who believe in me, my capabilities, and my smarts.
I borrow belief as I build my belief.
That’s how I build confidence. You can too.
Today, borrow my belief in you.
What does that mean? This means you think about yourself the way I think of you. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, even with self-doubt or lacking confidence. I am an example of what is possible, and I'm not different from you.
Today, borrow belief from me that you can overcome anything by looking for the evidence of your beautiful, accomplished, and powerful self.
If you are considering working with a Coach or want to know more about the components of a Coaching engagement, let’s get on a call with this link.
The question I get most frequently on these calls, ‘what results can I achieve?’ Here’s what one client shared:
“The biggest impact working with Christina....The biggest change I've noticed about myself internally is.... Increased comfort with uncertainty. I now have confidence in my ability to manage difficult situations and control my own destiny. I'm taking a much more 'offensive' approach to managing my career, even when the immediate next step isn't clear.”
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