Working Moms: Get Decided
I am immensely proud to be a working mom. But, I struggle with the working mom label.
Labels diminish us and make us small.
Our identities are so much more than simple labels.
You are more than a working mom. You are a mom, a nurturer, a care taker, a professional, a money-maker, a doer, a creator, a sister, an athlete, an artist.
I led a conversation this week with a group of 50+ working mothers who came to support each other in their desire for the elusive balance between work and Mom-ing.
Would there ever be a ‘Working Dads Group’? That’s one label you likely will never see. I digress….
The first-hand feedback I heard this week was raw and emotional.
Putting faces to a working mom pandemic that has super successful women dealing with some pretty tough stuff that no other generation before has dealt with.
Working moms are painfully exhausted, burnt out, riddled with guilt and always on.
If more evidence was needed, see the below graph from Deloitte's just published Women@Work 2022 survey. Full PDF Here.
The “always on” culture does not allow working moms to switch off from work.
How do you switch back and forth from employee to mom and give 100% to both?
This is where we are today.
You want it to be easier. A successful and rewarding career and the ability to raise your kids with more joy.
While things feel out of control, there is so much in your control.
I remember after working 9 hours with a 3 hour commute, I was sitting in my car at the train station unable to turn the ignition key. This was the only quiet I had had in 12 hours. All day long people needed me. Needed me in meetings, for decisions, guidance, feedback. I knew the 7-minute ride home from the train station was the only respite I would have from the hamster wheel life. It was the only quiet time before I had to do it all over again tomorrow. I knew when I walked in that door to see those three precious faces that I would be barraged with more needs: homework help, dishes in the dishwasher, a ride to practice.
I was conflicted. I stayed in conflict until I got decided.
Decided on what I wanted for my career and who I wanted to be as a mom.
It's possible to start making decisions that make more sense for you and your family.
Start by becoming aware of what isn't working. Then setting expectation for yourself and the boundaries that go along with them.
Becoming decided is looking at where you are conflicted and deciding what outcomes you want from it.
When you decide, you begin to make decisions on everything from that point.
Becoming decided, isn't easy. But it is easier than the hamster wheel filled with guilt, laundry and 'always on' emailing after the kids are in bed. When you do, it is freeing.
You can start deciding today.
When you do, your kids will see you happy, and when you are, they will be happier.
This Mother’s Day give yourself permission to invest in yourself. Invest in doing the work of getting decided. The life-long dividends it will give you will be the greatest gift you can give to yourself.
If you are considering working with a Coach or want to know more about the components of a Coaching engagement, let’s get on a call with this link.
The question I get most frequently on these calls, ‘what results can I achieve?’ Here’s what one client shared:
"Coaching is by far the most ROI-positive investment you can make in yourself. Do it! Even if you go in with a specific issue, or question in mind, you will be amazed by how the process can change your thinking about who you are, the skills you have, and where you want to go."
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