Why Words Matter for High-Performing Leaders
There’s a lot of noise right now.
We are inundated with messages from…
The news
Social media
Our boss, colleagues, direct reports
the waiter/hairdresser/auto mechanic
Family.
The sheer volume can be exhausting, even paralyzing. In the noise, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, disconnected, and reactive.
But, within the noise lies opportunity: the power to choose your words with intention and compassion for yourself and those around you.
Words are the building blocks to connection, meaning, and action. They carry immense power.
Here are a few that I believe are critical now, especially when mental health and loneliness are the new pandemic, divisiveness continues to divide us, 50% say they have quietly quit their job, and 80% report being disengaged at work.
Something has to give.
Words can give.
Words have the energy, power, and ability to help, hurt, lift us up, and tear us down when we are reactive or not careful.
Our words can make the difference between a moment of pain, a moment of healing, and leading from directive authority to leading through influence.
Consider these words this week.
How can I help?
People don’t like asking for help. Some view asking for help as a weakness, and many don’t even consider that help is what they need.
How can I help?
Those four words have the power to change someone’s day, including yours.
When you ask, they are seen, valued, validated, recognized, and are not alone.
And if you get the response, 'I’ve got this,' ask this question: How else can I support you?
Should have. Would have. Could have.
Watch your language for phrases like “should have,” "would have," "could have," as thy limit, shame, blame, and undermine.
It’s bad enough when you use them on yourself but worse when you use them with the people that matter most in your life.
'Should-ing' in emails or conversations is never the solution.
Instead, asking if you can help will produce better results, reactions, and outcomes.
Help me understand.
When something doesn’t go as planned, instead of responding punitively, pause and ask, ‘Help me understand?’
It gives you time to gather your thoughts while helping you gain understanding. In doing so, you may learn something you didn’t know.
Words matter—Especially the ones you say to yourself.
Words of affirmation, what you tell yourself about yourself, are proven performance boosters.
I am the greatest.
This was Mohammad Ali’s affirmation to himself and the public. He became the world’s greatest heavyweight boxer of all time.
I am a winner.
Michael Phelps visualized the perfect Butterfly race and the imperfect ones for six years leading up to his first gold medal in the Seoul Olympics when he was 17. Michael's goggles filled with water as he dove off the block in his final race. He was literally swimming blind.
For years, Micheal visualized the gold medal race, telling his mind’s eye who he was: I am a winner. His mental practice was equally important as the laps in the pool.
Michael not only won gold that day. He also broke the world record. Swimming blind.
One last thing…
Be careful how you use words of emotion in your conversations and in your emails. (This is frustrating; makes me angry; pisses me off; is so disappointing; I can't stand it/them/her). Using emotion in emails takes you off of your game and your team’s game and will not lead you to the outcomes you want.
Emails are a place to influence.
When you bring more intention to influencing, teaching, and leading, your communication will become a signature to your leadership.
As you move through your week, let your words be tools of healing, building, and hope. Choose them with care, speak them with compassion, and use them to create connection, possibility, and growth.
Words matter—they shape the lives we live and the legacies we leave behind.
