HARM: The High Achiever River of Misery
As a former CRO, I intimately know that feeling of being perpetually "busy" – the packed calendar, the endless to-do lists, the constant fire-fighting. Today, as I coach other executives, I see these same patterns playing out.
I call it the High-Achiever River of Misery or H.A.R.M.
Every email feels urgent
You have no time to think
You're constantly choosing between competing top priorities
Success feels like running on a faster treadmill
You rationalize this chaos as being part of being a high-achiever.
The trap? We blame our circumstances: 'I'm too busy to think strategically' 'I can't delegate - no one else will do it right.'
Blaming is a shame in disguise.
Just this week, I did it. I blamed and shamed myself without even knowing it, completely unaware, until a coach called me out on it. These are some things I was saying out loud that I didn't hear...
I should be better at it.
I can't believe I didn't speak up.
Why did I put myself in this situation?
[this was all in one conversation]
Statements keeping me small, keeping me safe – and keeping me stuck.
Staying in the river of misery, treading water, and going nowhere.
Here's what I wish I’d known earlier:
That mountain of your hard work is your comfort food.
It’s a cleverly disguised distraction from real work that could change everything.
The Real Work
The work that will give you freedom and transform your impact is likely not on your to-do list.
The real work feels:
Vulnerable
Risky
Uncomfortable
If your work isn't making you feel scared or making your stomach flutter, it's probably more busy work in disguise.
Making Space for What Matters
Remember the Pareto Principle – 20% of our efforts drive 80% of our results. This isn't just a nice theory.
It's an escape route from H.A.R.M.
Embrace the Power of NO
Audit your recurring meetings (aim to cut 30%)
Question low-value work you do "because it's faster if you do it”
Decline "good" opportunities that distract from "great" ones; this requires you to define good and great.
Sniff Out Resistors
What tasks keep getting pushed to tomorrow?
Which conversations are you avoiding?
What decisions are you postponing?
Make Peace with Discomfort The most significant growth happens in moments of strategic pause and reflection, even when every fiber of your being screams to keep busy.
Your Challenge
I invite you to try something different. Make November your "NO-vember" (a concept I read on Instagram):
Identify three recurring commitments you can pause or eliminate
List the "real work" you've been avoiding
Schedule two hours weekly for strategic thinking and planning for the ‘real work’
Start with one difficult conversation
Practice saying 'let me think about that' instead of immediate yes.
Test your new boundaries – they don't have to be permanent
A Final Thought
The cost of staying in H.A.R.M isn't just your time – it's your potential.
As someone who has made every mistake in the busy leader playbook, I can tell you the extraordinary impact you seek isn't hiding in your inbox or your to-do list.
It's waiting in the space you create by doing the real work – the uncomfortable, transformative kind.
What could happen if you prioritized this real work this week?
Here's to doing less, but better.
P.S. Here's a question to journal on:
Is this task feeding my future or just fueling my busy?
P.S.S. If you're ready to step out of the River of Misery and into your full potential – let's talk.
I help high-achieving executives break free from the busy trap and create transformative impact. Through our work together, you'll learn to distinguish between motion and progress, build systems that scale, and lead with intention rather than intensity. Book a complimentary strategy session with me HERE to explore how to turn your overwhelm into opportunity.
