Unveiling the Power of Longing: A Journey Towards Self-Awareness and Fulfillment

A longing, a yearning, an unfulfilled desire.

A longing for more success, recognition for our work, a calmer family life, adventure, peace, and rest. We live, we long.

We all have different sensations associated with longing.

When my first child, Caroline, went to college, I felt a longing so deep that it felt like my heart had a gaping, hurting hole. I felt the same when I dropped the twins off—a longing for love wrapped in hope that is healthy and reflective of what’s most important.

When I was head of revenue at Fast Company, I ached—an uncomfortable feeling, sometimes subtly uncomfortable, sometimes more intense—a relentless sense of unfinished business.

I didn’t understand the ache. I lacked awareness of what that signal was offering me. Without deep awareness, we lack understanding, change goes unrealized, and, in this case, longing continues.

What wasn’t I allowing myself to become aware of, to feel…

That longing was a calling for more.

Soon after my admittance to Memorial Sloane Kettering, a gift package arrived for me (Room 1711) with a necklace with a hanging disc that said:

MADE FOR MORE

Not more money.

Not more things.

Not prestige.

Not respect.

This gift was an awakening for me. It came just days after I held my first personal development workshop with eight women who joined me to reimagine their extraordinary lives. We all wrote down three reflections about ourselves. Here’s mine.

I rediscovered this photo just a few weeks ago and was struck by the signal. A signal I didn’t fully see or understand even though I wrote it on that day just days before my life was turned upside down.

I wasn’t fully aware. I wrote the words. But, I didn’t see them.

I wasn’t ready until I was.

It was longing for happiness and fulfillment of the kind that came from mattering. From helping people change their lives, which in turn would change mine.

“You are a whole that exists to live a life, not half a life.” — Khalil Gibran

Longing is a signal that, when ignited from awareness, motivates action.

Sometimes, that action is of the worst kind. It can devolve quickly into inner critic narratives. Or we negatively question ourselves as a measurement of our enough-ness.

Pay close attention to those negative thoughts. They may be signs of longing that are whispers to slow down and listen.

Many of us walk around living half a life and feeling disconnected from ourselves. So many of us have extinguished parts of ourselves to make it through, to survive. Living by the default of the day instead of listening and feeling for what we long for.

If you are not working towards your own personal desires and goals, you are working towards someone else’s.

Other words for longing are covet, crave, want, and wish.

I'm always craving chewy candy. I now ask myself what I crave more than candy. What am I hungrier for from my life, in my business, my fulfillment?

With new awareness, we have choice.

With awareness > choice > freedom or any feeling you are longing for.

Here’s how Yung Pueblo, author of The Way Forward talks about awareness:

Self-awareness also helps you pierce through a lot of the mental conditioning that you never asked for. Through self-awareness, you come in contact with your genuine preferences and aspirations, not the things society wants you to strive for but what authentically feels nourishing for you to spend your energy on.

How can we listen for the signals to become more self-aware?

Research says we have 60,000 thoughts a day, and 80% of those thoughts are in our subconscious. Think about how much we are unaware of each day.

If the itch, the ache, the restlessness is there, why not scratch it?

Start looking for your signals.

My longing gave me a blank canvas to paint on.

But, I was missing the signals…

My mind was telling me I was so busy that I didn’t have time ‘to paint.’

Telling me I wasn’t sure if this was the ‘right’ next step.

Telling me what I wanted wasn’t what was expected of me. The mind continues to lie to you when it is scared, unsure, and uncertain.

Give yourself permission.

See your signals and listen to what they want you to hear.

To uncover the longing, the craving, or what you are wishing for, consider journaling. Inside ​The Artist’s Way​, the process they believe is transformational, has you deepening awareness by getting to your subconscious thoughts by page three of your journal writing. If you think three pages sounds like a lot, start somewhere.

Other avenues to explore include meditation and Super Think time -- dedicated time to investing in thinking about you and your future. Where is it that your mind lets down, when you are most creative and thoughtful? Do more of it and focus on deep listening and questioning for what you want.

You can also choose to work with me as your coach.

When you are ready to go deeper:

Unlock the deeper power of your thoughts with your coach HERE.

Join my morning practice HERE.

48 more mind-busting questions HERE.

Get on the waitlist for the Success Unleashed 8-week course HERE.

Learn how to rewrite your next best mid-life chapter. Read my book, For Success Sake! Extraordinary Possibilities in Leadership HERE.

Here's to your success!