The Power of Saying NO
These two letters combined create a life-giving, life-controlling word: NO.
Why don’t you say no more often?
Is it because you’ll feel guilty not wanting to let someone down? (The plague of people pleasing.)
Or do you want to be seen as the go-getter who gets it all done? (Needing outside validation to approve of ourselves internally.)
Or, you have no choice because that’s how it just is? (Believing the mind that lies to us.)
The most common complaint from high achievers is the inability to get it all done with a suffocating calendar, a long to-do list, and too many life demands.
Early in my career, I was a yes, ma’am. It was a very long season of yes as I strived to become a leader, a good mom, and an active community member.
✔️ Yes to new clients.
✔️ Yes to leadership roles.
✔️ Yes to travel.
✔️ Yes to the PTA, the charity, hosting the school social.
✔️ Yes to relationships that were depleting me.
On the outside, I looked perfect, and inside, I was perfectly miserable.
When you say yes, it gets harder and harder to say no, especially for women.
More yes-es does not equal success. It simply leads to MORE.
If the yes is in support of your priorities, then HELL, YES.
If not, you're deprioritizing yourself at your personal expense.
It’s hard to say no with big responsibilities at work and home.
The balance between yes and no comes when you commit to finding a better balance. (note: better balance vs balance, which is elusive.)
What if you embraced a week of no in pursuit of finding a better balance?
W.O.N (Week Of No)
Here are a few No-isms that might help:
⚡Can I get back to you when I look at my calendar?
⚡I’m really interested, but I have a conflict.
⚡Can you send me the meeting notes?
⚡This week is tough.
⚡See what you can do without me, and then let's regroup.
⚡Here’s what I can do.
⚡Is there someone who’s a better fit for that?
⚡If it is something you need now, I'm not the best person to ask.
⚡I’ll swing back to you after I check on things.
⚡Would you consider X instead….
⚡I’m not the best person for that.
⚡If you can't get it done by next week, check back with me.
The most effective way to say no is to say no.
Consider no as a secret weapon.
When you say no, you prioritize what’s important.
When you say no, you…
-Establish yourself as someone who prioritizes.
-Set boundaries around what you will and will not do.
-Create an expectation.
-Get decided = feel powerful.
-You look smart and in demand.
Best of all, you get clear on your yes.
When you say no, the asks get less often because you train people how to treat you.
If you are worrying about what others will think, remember this great quote: "Someone's opinion of you is none of your business."
No is a strategy for saying yes to you, your life, and your business.
Repeating:
No is a strategy for saying yes to you, your life, and your business.
I said no to a speaking gig this week. Could I have crammed it in? Yes. Did I want to do it for the person asking? Yes. But I’ve made commitments to myself this year. This one didn’t fit into the future I’m creating for myself.
That’s key. Making decisions to say yes or no from the future you want.
Saying yes to the 80% that creates 20% of your impact each week (Pareto Principle).
Say yes to the things that have the greatest impact and let go of the busy things that do not support your future.
The most successful people are more committed to their future. They make decisions from the future they are creating.
Put a sticky note on your computer or desk with W.O.N. on it - the Week Of No.
A week of no will create the space for YES. That's a week of winning!
It will help you to bring new discipline to how you show up, when you show up, and how you lead yourself.
Say yes to YOU.
If you are considering working with a High-Performance Success Coach or want to know more about the components of a coaching engagement, let’s get on a coaching call. As a business coach for women entrepreneurs, Executives, and Teams, my proven engagement method is highly results driven.
The question I get most frequently is, ‘What results can I achieve?’ Here’s what one client shared:
“Coaching is by far the most ROI-positive investment you can make in yourself. Do it! Even if you go in with a specific issue or question, you will be amazed by how the process can change your thinking about who you are, your skills, and where you want to go.”
You can wait for life to no longer be hard. If you are a dreamer and a doer, let’s have a conversation.
High-performance success coaching and business coaching, and life coaching combined for massive value and impact on your life and business.
