Stress Management for High-Performing Leaders
I can always judge my stress level by how close my shoulders are to my ears.
That’s only when I give myself the time to stop, become aware, and check for the physical outcome of the mental energy that feeds my stress.
My shoulders are where my stress physically manifests.
A few weeks ago, I was walking in NYC, excited to spend time with a client. My heart told me to check in and see how I was doing.
And there it was.
A tightening in my upper back and the raised grip of my shoulders -- it felt like they were nearly swiping the bottoms of my hoop earrings.
Stress takes hold of our minds and then manifests outwardly.
Where does yours show up?
Fidgeting
Tightened chest
Shortened breaths
Stomach grumbles
Clenched jaw
Pursed lips
Headaches
Knowing where your stress physically presents, you can, with this awareness, pause and allow yourself to notice, access, release, and reset.
When we release the physical tension, it gives way to releasing the emotional stress.
While the root of stress first manifests in our thoughts, it can take over our bodies.
My shoulders are a tough crew; they don’t let go easily. The tightness is their comfort zone. They act like protectors, keeping me safe in the battle that is in my mind.
I use a breathing exercise to help release the grip. I take four deep breaths, focusing on releasing the shoulders downward with each long out-breath.
I did this for every block in my 20-minute walk that day. At first, my shoulders would quickly boomerang back up, but they finally gave way as I got to the restaurant.
And my mind followed.
I showed up for my lunch present from a more relaxed place. I enjoyed lunch so much more than I would have if I hadn’t been intentional about locating the stress in my body.
I didn’t realize it was even there until I noticed. I’m more stressed than not on most days. It’s how I’m wired. I’m committed to rewiring the habits of me.
Think about how you are wired. What are your diminishing defaults? Recognizing them allows you to change. With awareness comes choice, and from choice comes the opportunity to change.
Without awareness, I get lost in the day’s default. I hit play and go for the day—my hamster wheel. With the hamster wheel in motion, I'm less present in my mind and body and less connected to how I feel.
The bedrock of leading ourselves more powerfully is through awareness.
In the rush of the day, you lose awareness that your shoulders are in your ears, your jaw is clenched, your lips are pursed.
When you lose awareness, things become less clear.
When you lose awareness, you offload your agency over yourself. ‘They are to blame.’ ‘It’s the stress of the job.’ ‘It’s just how it is.’
Where does stress show up for you?
When you find it, consider relaxing that area using your breath and creating a practice that has you releasing the left side of it, then the right side, then both sides together. Do this on repeat until you feel a change.
Showing up with more presence is an antidote to stress.
In the book Awakening Who I Am, the author shared that behavioral scientists say it takes at least three weeks of consistent daily behavior to ingrain habits that constitute a course correction.
Breaking the ‘habits of you’ can take hold in less than a month with years of life-changing benefits.
Find a practice that works for you and commit to it. I define a commitment as being intentional, deliberate, and consistent with a desire.
Without a commitment to a new ‘habit of you’, you won’t generate the motivation and energy necessary to achieve your desired results.
You’ll spin your wheels and wonder, why can’t I change?
What are the habits of you?
Here are habits I hear from high-performers:
No time to slow down.
Can’t shut their brain off.
Out of control calendars.
No time to think.
Check email before going to bed and first thing in the morning.
Neverending To Do lists (some even have To-Do lists for each thing on the list!)
Saying yes to every ask.
Taking lots of action without getting the results you want.
Remember the saying that if we are not changing, we are choosing not to change.
"The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” Abraham Maslow
I hope you had a wonderful July 4th!
P.S. On a coaching consult this week, she asked me what she could expect from coaching.
I shared: Relaxed shoulders.
She, too, felt her shoulders were in her ears.
There are so many benefits, results, and transformations working with a Coach.
But it's the intangibles that can make the most lasting impression.
One of them relaxed shoulders.
With a Coach you have a thinking partner.
You have a co-pilot to help you see what you can’t see and help you see what you can more clearly.
You get clarity on your vision for your success.
You achieve more results faster with a proven process.
You build your confidence and belief in YOU.
And you have relaxed shoulders.
Let's start a conversation.
