Regret: Course Correction & Inaction
“I want to thank myself because I worked so hard.”
Brazilian pop star Anitta stated while accepting an award at the MTV Awards.
I’ve never regretted working harder.
Never regretted being kind.
Never regretted going the extra mile.
Regret is self-involved, a distraction, and doesn’t make my future better. I know this today.
When I look back, I’ve made choices - some not-so-good and some bad - that have landed me where I am today. I own my choices. I've learned not to regret them.
I now use my choices as a guidepost to what I want for today and my future, not to shame or blame myself or stay in wishful thoughts of wanting something different.
Do I wish I had been a better decision-maker at times? Of course.
When I think of regret, it reminds me of not asking for THE big job. I had been at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia for 18 years when my boss left to work for a competitor. With her role now open, I did what I do.
I led the team through transition, ensured my amazing team’s work was getting done, and reported upwards.
I was doing the job. Her job.
I was doing it well, even exceptionally well.
I was not GIVEN the job.
I remember sharing my regret with a mentor three years later, and she quickly responded:
You never asked for the role.
I had assumed. You know the first three letters of assume.
Don’t look back with regret.
I now look back for understanding and in search of the red threads that lead me forward.
Looking back, I now see that I was steeped in imposter syndrome, so much so that I didn’t ask for the role out of fear. I had been the #2 for so long that my story had me only belonging in that place. I thought I was not #1 ready.
Is anyone really ready for that next big role?
I know myself better today, and from that awareness, I have released the feelings of regret. I’ve done work on my imposter syndrome. Learned from it, and it is a part of my story. I use it now as a filter. If I want something, I own the ask for it.
The desire to have no regrets is, of course, a lie.
Regret is a teacher.
Daniel Pink has studied regret and written the book The Power of Regret.
He says there are two types of regret.
Regret of action taken, which can be leveraged to course correct.
Regret of inaction is harder for most and may be the signal you most need. Use it to decide what’s next, to prioritize, to place focus on moving forward.
Lots of high achievers and accomplished leaders use high productivity to keep them from taking action toward their deepest desires and wildly impossible but possible goals.
Inaction is like wearing invisible restraints to live the life you want.
Should-ing on yourself is the first place to look for regret. Take action on the shoulds. On the other side of a should is achievement, no matter how big or how small!
I love this thought from Dr. Benjamin Hardy: If you are not working towards your goals, you are working towards someone else’s.
P.S. Success Unleashed is now open for enrollment with information and a link to enroll below. As a subscriber, you will be receiving emails over the next two weeks in which I will walk through the proven process and the results of the program graduates. Please know that the only time I will send emails outside of Sundays is when this course is open for enrollment. I respect your inbox and know you are busy (and I do want you to join, as it's changed my life and the lives of my students).
If you are considering working with a High-Performance Success Coach or want to know more about the components of a coaching engagement, let’s get on a coaching call. As a business coach for women entrepreneurs, Executives, and Teams, my proven engagement method is highly results driven.
The question I get most frequently is, ‘What results can I achieve?’ Here’s what one client shared:
“Coaching is by far the most ROI-positive investment you can make in yourself. Do it! Even if you go in with a specific issue or question, you will be amazed by how the process can change your thinking about who you are, your skills, and where you want to go.”
You can wait for life to no longer be hard. If you are a dreamer and a doer, let’s have a conversation.
High-performance success coaching and business coaching, and life coaching combined for massive value and impact on your life and business.
