Why High Achievers Must Overcome Expectations to Succeed
"You will succeed or fail based on the stories you tell yourself." — Bo Eason
Let’s talk about the stories that play on repeat in our minds—the ones built out of words and thoughts we barely even notice.
A lot of them are filled with the word should.
Every day, we “should” all over ourselves. (Say that out loud and it sounds a lot like something else, doesn’t it?)
Should is everyone else's voice telling us how to live our lives. It’s the list of expectations, judgments, and rules we’ve been taught to follow.
Life gives us two roads: should and must.
I was inspired by Elle Luna’s book The Crossroads of Should and Must. She beautifully explains the fork in the road between these two concepts: should and must.
Every single day, you get to decide: Do I go with should—the expected path that pleases everyone, keeps me in the status quo, or ensures I don't 'fail'—or do I follow must, the deeper calling of my own heart?
This isn't easy because life's excuses pile up: time, money, family, expectations.
What really holds us back is fear. The fear of stepping into the unknown, of not knowing how things will turn out, of letting go of certainty.
Here’s where the magic is:
Choosing must is choosing you.
It’s choosing to live your most authentic life, the one already waiting for you under all the layers of should.
What's your must?
Look closely at your shoulds—buried inside them, is a must waiting to be discovered.
Take Sharon O'Sullivan as an example. She was already a highly successful corporate executive in media and as Global Head of Corporate Partnerships for Global Citizen. Global Citizen’s mission is to end extreme poverty by 2030. Talk about making impact!
She felt the whispers of musts —that nudge that she was meant for something different. She still wanted to make a significant impact. Sharon was still ambitious, but her heart was pulling her towards a new ambitious path.
Sharon’s shoulds running on repeat told her: “I should paint." Wishful thinking she buried as she continued on the life she had created.
That should grew: "I should become a full-time working artist.”
But then must grabbed hold of her:
“I must create an art studio. I must work harder and longer to hone my passion. I must learn new techniques. I must continue to evolve and work in new mediums. I must immerse myself into the art world to be amongst other artists, gallery owners, and collectors. I must give this new path all the focus and energy of my earlier jobs. I must get my work out into the world."
Her musts compelled a rewrite of her definition of success.
When you choose must, it aligns your ambition with who you truly are. Must is about becoming the fullest expression of yourself.
Sharon’s journey from corporate powerhouse to successful artist didn’t happen overnight or without hard work and dogged perseverance.
In a year, driven by her must, Sharon immersed herself and landed her first gallery exhibition—'Windows and Visions'—at The Ram Gallery.
Now a full-time artist, her work ranges from oil paintings on rusted steel, wood board, and canvas to abstract steel welded sculptures—this is what happens when you fully commit to your must.
You might be thinking, “But I’m not an artist; I don’t have that kind of talent.”
Your must doesn’t have to look like Sharon’s. Your must is unique to you. But when you find it and give it air, permission, and space to grow, it becomes you.
Life is full of crossroads, always offering a choice. Step through one and see where it takes you.
Do not stay in the comfort of your shoulds.
Listen for your must. It’s there, waiting for you to choose it.
P.S. Calling all leaders and CEOs: If you feel like your business is at the crossroads between should and must, The Possibilities Workshop is a proven performance booster that creates stronger focus and alignment to empower you and every team member to reach their goals.
If team morale is low and productivity feels flat, yet you still have big goals to meet that require everyone to work together, The Possibilities Workshop ensures that your business goals inspire your people to grow along with them.
Contact me and I’ll share how one organization grew 25% YOY and map out a plan to do the same and more for your business.
The Possibilities Workshop is one component in The Kite Accelerator that infuses Human A-I by combining strategic planning with leadership development.
