W.A.I.T

In my last corporate role, I remember getting into my car after a 9-hour day of asks, requests, questions – all requiring decisions. I had no energy left to make the simple decision to turn on the radio, let alone decide on station.

This wasn’t a one day thing, but a habitual indication of burnout.

Decision fatigue is a real thing.

It refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual after a long session of decision making (Wikipedia).

In leadership, people ask you to weigh in all day long. In part, because they need direction, value your opinion and some simply desire to be led.

Whatever your signature brand of leadership is (if you don’t know this, we should talk!), consider mitigating decision fatigue by leading from a coaching mindset.

Leading from a coaching mindset is rooted in what I call in my program the 'Language of Leadership’. It’s rooted in curiosity and powerful questioning.

Like most leaders, your brain is wired to answer questions, solve problems and fix issues, especially when you lead, but as you rise up to lead yourself more powerfully, pay close attention to the deciding, fixing and telling versus leading.

Leadership is not telling.

Telling doesn’t provide a new perspective.

Telling isn't teaching.

Telling doesn't shift perspective.

Telling isn't creating a learning experience.

Telling does the work for them rather than getting them to think harder and deeper.

Telling also doesn’t mean someone is hearing or understanding. Telling what you know to someone does no good if they don’t understand what you know. Read back that sentence again. If they don’t have an understanding of what you are telling them, what you are telling them falls on deaf ears. Work doesn’t get done right and you get more frustrated.

Leading with a coaching mindset is about asking questions to ensure people understand you, the project and what success looks like.

Leading with a coaching mindset is about their growth and yours.

You may be thinking that you don’t have time for it -- here’s the thing: When you help people to grow, they will make more decisions for you and you gain your time back.

Leading with a coaching mindset, helps train their mind to think for themselves. They not only gain so much learning, but the icing on the cake here is that they build more belief in themselves. When we believe in ourselves, we show up in the world very differently.

If you get stuck in the perfection trap of doing it yourself, consider that there is always more than one way to do something. You know this. You may also be saying that it’s just easier for you to do it. That’s a vicious cycle that suffocates your leadership and ability to scale your business.

Leading with a coaching mindset is rooted in getting curious through powerful questions like these.....

What do you need to know?

What have you already tried?

What is your thought process?

What else have you considered?

What would make our conversation most helpful?

What does your gut say?

What does success look like here?

What outcome do you want?

What will you do if you get stuck?

Then ask: What else?

I’ve always found that the first response to a question usually isn’t what’s at the heart of an issue. Take a conversation deeper by asking: What else?

What comes after the powerful questioning? Listening.

When I went through coaching certification, my coach recommended we put a sticky note with four letters on it, and put it on our desk or computer so that it was always in sight.

W.A.I.T.

That stands for: Why am I talking?

Think about how much time you spend talking versus the people you work with.

Listening is one of the most powerful coaching tools and equally powerful when leading. Listen for what’s behind what they are saying. And then ask, what else?

I work on my listening skills every day. I use all sorts of tips and tricks including looking for the color of people’s eyes, even on Zoom call. If I know their eye color, I know I’m present and 100% focused on them.

People rise to the expectations others set for them.

Stop the telling.

Set expectation.

Getting curious.

Listen.

Guide them to make powerful decisions for you.